


I still love you.

by isabelleisnotamazing



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Babygate (One Direction), First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Heartbreak, M/M, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 18:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8068741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabelleisnotamazing/pseuds/isabelleisnotamazing
Summary: Harry has been in love with Louis since the beginning but Louis doesn't feel the same, until he does. or the story of Harry and Louis throughout the years (2010-2016)





	

Harry's POV

I loved you before I even realised it myself. The moment i knew i loved you it was already too late.  
At first I thought we were just friends, best friends even, but then you met Eleanor and I knew that the jealousy I felt wasn’t normal, not for a friend. It hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I loved you when you went on dates with her and spent nights with her while I stayed in our apartment alone, often crying. 

I loved you even when I saw the happiness on your face after you saw she’d texted you even though it killed me inside.

I think subconsciously you knew all along that I loved you. 

When you moved out I pretended to be happy for you. I pretended not to care. But I wasn’t fooling anyone. Not you, not the boys, not even myself. 

Everyday I spent alone I broke a little more. Sure, in public I could pull off the ‘happy best friend’ act but when I was left alone with my thoughts I couldn’t. 

You knew, I could see it in your eyes. The pity. You pitied me, even if you didn’t know what for exactly. I could see it when you’d be fondly talking about her to me and the boys. When I tried to look happy but you saw right through it. You always did.

I became more distant as your relationship became more serious. It was so hard. I needed a distraction.  
I turned to alcohol and sex. Anything to keep my mind off you. I tried to become the typical boyband heartthrob that everyone wanted me to be. It seemed to work, at least for a while. But once it wore off it all felt worse. 

You found me once, sitting against my bed sobbing uncontrollingly. You pulled me into the tightest hug. You kept asking what was wrong even though you already knew. the bullshit tweet hurt more than it should’ve. I think the reason it hurt so bad was because it was true. You held me until the sobbing stopped. Until I thought that maybe, just maybe it would all be alright. And for a while I believed it.

We became closer after that. 2013 was overall quite a good year. You didnt spend a lot of time with Eleanor and you never talked about her with me. You'll never know how thankful I was for that. 

But all good things must come to an end, as they say. This time it was you who became more distant. We barely spoke the whole year of 2014. I mean, we didnt ignore each other but I wouldnt say we were friends, definetly not best friends. That was a really hard year for me. 

Then 2015 came along. By then i had cleaned up my 'womanizer' act and gotten more serious about writing music and performing. I still loved you, at this point it felt like I always would. 

Zayn left which was hard on us but surprisingly we pulled through. Then you broke up with Eleanor. That was when you finally decided to talk to me again. I forgave you instantly but maybe I shouldn't have. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a few weeks since the breakup. You had come to my house and apologized. You said you had a hard time accepting your feelings for me. But you're finally ready to be with me. I cried and for the first time in a long time they were tears of happiness. Then you kissed me and it felt like the last five years had been worth it. We spent that whole night together talking about everything and nothing. 

We spent that whole week at my house. We talked, we kissed, we made love and that was the best week of my life. 

Until one night you got a phone call. You got out of bed and said you had to take it.  
When you came back to bed you seemed different. I didnt question it. You gave me a peck on my temple that lingered a little longer than usual and wished me goodnight. I went to sleep with your heart beating abnormally fast against my head. I went to sleep with an uneasy feeling that night. I held onto you tightly.

The next morning you were gone and I knew you weren't coming back. 

 

Later that day Niall called me. He told me. He told me about Briana and the pregnancy leak.  
I felt sick.

Tears filled my eyes threatening to spill.  
I called you. You answered.  
"Is it true?" I asked, flinching at the way my voice cracked.  
It took you far too long to answer, which said enough.  
"..Harry I-" I cut you off, "How could you?" the tears streamed down my face.  
"How could you sleep with her and then come to me saying you love me?" I asked choking on a sob.  
you didn't reply, I didn't expect you to.  
"I'm so stupid." I tried to laugh to cover my sobs but it didnt work.  
"Harry I'm sorry" You quickly said but it was too late.  
"That's not enough." I whispered. Then hung up.

Months went by and you and I didnt talk. We ended our tour and I hugged you on stage in an attempt to feel something, anything. I didnt.

We released our album which was a great success. The only emotions I had expressed since that night were in those songs.

You started dating Danielle. Our fans seemed to think it was a stunt which I on some level hoped it was but I knew better. you had moved on. And I still hadn't.

I had decided I wanted to take a break. I needed to get away. The boys agreed. We approached the end of the year and performed our final song. History. I thought about you the whole time. I almost broke down in tears right then and there. We all hugged and I took you and the boys in as much as I could. We promised One Direction would be back but I wasn't sure if I would be able to be a part of it. I love performing but it all hurt too much. Seeing you broke my heart a little more everyday. You broke my heart and I don't think I will ever get over it completely.

Your baby was born. You're a good dad. Maybe in another life we would've worked out. 

I still haven't forgiven you. I don't know when I will. It scares me. Forgiving you means letting you go for good and I'm not ready to do that. I loved you for six years. I loved you through all the times you've hurt me, even when you didn't do it on purpose. the years I've known you have been the best and worst of my life. I still love you, i think i always will.


End file.
